NEWS FLASH!!

Greetings to all! Back by not-terribly-popular demand, it's guest blogger, here to provide you with exciting updates of the goings on in our household. This particular entry is fondly dedicated to the too-anxious-to-create-a-catch-phrase-for-every-"big"-story news crews of the Portland metropolitan area. Eight years later and I still don't miss them.

So now, News Channel 7 is thrilled to bring you

LARSON FLOOD 2010: BATTLE FOR THE BASEMENT

Let's go now to our crack rookie reporter who gets all the crummy assignments, Breezey Daze:

Breezey: "Thanks, guest blogger. Well, as you know, it's been raining a lot lately, and now we've discovered that the small amount of water that showed up along the wall in Meagan's new bedroom downstairs has turned into a full-bore flood! It's soaked the whole carpet in this room and into the room next door as well. Are you sure it's just a flood? There must have been a hurricane in here! Have you seen that room next door, Mrs. Larson?"

Mrs. Larson: "Um, that's just my craft room. It needs a little tidying up."

Breezey: "Oh, I see. Meagan, how have you been handling the crisis?"

Meagan: "I'm just glad that we were able to rescue my hunky life size cardboard Taylor Lautner. Go Team Jacob!!"

Breezey: "Thanks for that Meagan, and not to interject any level of opinion in this unbiased reporting, but GO TEAM EDWARD!!! I mean, sorry, um, now let's check on the man of the house. What have you done to contain the damage?"

Man of the house: "Well, I've always wanted to buy a shop vac, so now seemed like as good a time as any. It's so much fun sucking up gallons of disgusting brown water and pouring it down the shower drain. Fortunately our friend Rob, who was doing some remodeling on our house, has been kind enough to help us clear things out, rip out drywall, rent a big honkin' fan, and trace the source of the leak to the window well."

Breezey: "That's the situation here. Now back to you."

(1 day passes)

LARSON FLOOD 2010: BATTLE FOR THE BASEMENT

DAY 2: THE DELUGE OF DISASTER

Breezey: "We're back at the Larson home, where the man of the house returned from work a few hours ago to find that his nearly dry basement had suddenly become flooded again. What do you make of this situation? It hasn't rained all day? Maybe the water is coming from somewhere else."

Man of the house: "Excellent deductive reasoning there, Breezey. Where did you go to school, anyway? National Enquirer Tech?"

Breezey: "O-kay, well it looks like tempers are running a little short here in the Larson home tonight. So have you found the source of the leak?"

Man of the house: "Yeah, well, Rob came back over and he traced it back to a broken pipe near the hose faucet on the outside of the house. It's all patched up now and we'll see if our homeowners insurance will help us out tomorrow."

Breezey: "Looks like we'll have to come back one more day for the exciting conclusion of..."

LARSON FLOOD 2010: BATTLE FOR THE BASEMENT
DAY 3: PRETTY IN PLASTIC (WRAP)

Breezey: "Oh wow, this is so cool. It's just like what the government did to Elliot's house when they came to get E.T.!! And then they put a zillion fans in so that it really IS a hurricane in Mrs. Larson's craft room. Let's look at some footage!"

Breezey: "Apparently the insurance company called in some heavy duty professional help to dry out the damage. It looks like the Larson home is finally taken care of. The big fans should be done in a few days and then the Larsons can call in the repair people to fix the walls and paint the room. But there is a silver lining on this very wet, drippy, soaking, drenching,..."

'

(THWACK)

'

"OUCH! cloud. Apparently the man of the house doesn't appreciate my amazingly wide vocabulary. As I was trying to say, it turns out that the timing of this situation was fortunate for the Larsons, since the man of the house had to go out of town after the hazmat zone was set up, and Meagan's room was due to be repainted the day of the first flood. Now it only has to be repainted once instead of twice and Mrs. Larson didn't have to deal with the situation all by herself. This is Breezey Daze, now back to the studio."

'

Thanks Breezey. Your career from here can only go up.